Drowning in loneliness

Have you ever felt so severely lonely that you felt like you could down in it? Like the solitude was suffocating?
Lately, it seems as if I can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I am alone much more often than I have ever been in my life and my life has become a quiet life. Not a dull, lazy life, as I am very busy with errands and cleaning, sewing, baking, studying etc. but most of my activities are solo events. My daughter may be in the house while I am baking but there is little interaction there. She is busy with school work while I am busy with whatever activity that day requires.
But even if others are around, the loneliness is there, lurking, waiting to engulf me. This morning as my husband and I were getting ready for our day, it hit me with such force that I just sat down on the bed.
I have never before experienced this and it is quite disconcerting for me. I try to pray it away, sing it away, cry it away, bake it away, talk it away and for a moment or an hour it might recede. But when it returns it seems to grip me tighter, like it missed me and doesn’t want to ever have to let go again.
So now I am trying to write it away. I thought maybe if I could write about it, explain it, examine it, uncover it, its hold on me would loosen and I could run from its embrace.


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