I wonder if I will ever learn!!
Sometimes we make decisions to commit to things but don’t think about time limits.
In May, I committed to working for a small, local newspaper, thinking that I would be writing 3 or 4 articles every two weeks. Sure that that I could handle that, I dove right in. Before I knew it, I was writing 10 articles every two weeks, complete with interviews. This was taking a large portion of my time. At the same time, people started to want me to make me cakes, some for pay. One 3 tier cake takes me about 4 days to finish and disrupts the entire household, especially if lots of decisions are involved.
I really enjoy writing and it is great to be a published writer. I like getting to know new people. I enjoy getting to say that I wrote for a newspaper.
I love baking and decorating cakes. I love the look on people’s faces when they first see their cake. And I love it when people smile after that first bite and it is awesome if they groan in pleasure from the taste!
But how much of my time am I to devote to those pursuits?
When I committed to the newspaper, I didn’t get a resounding “YES” from God when I prayed about it. I didn’t get a no. Felt more like a shrug to me. Yes, I believe God does shrug at us occasionally. Not in indifference or apathy. He just sees down the road and knows there is a lesson to be learned there. Maybe not His divine will but in His permissible will.
Do I pray about every cake order that people ask me to do? No not every ONE. I pray about some but I’ve never turned down an order because God said “no.”
So as I contemplate all the responsibilities I have and try to figure out how to efficiently, effectively and rightly balance them all, I realize that I don’t know how! None of us do! Life is so busy and we just can get too busy with GOOD things. Or bad things!
And sometimes responsibilities are meant to be short term! Not for a lifetime, but for a short time.
This really seems to be a hard concept for me to grasp and letting go is a very difficult thing for me to do. I feel obligated to people that I really shouldn’t! I want to please people who I don’t knew well enough to understand what would be best for them. I want things to just stay the same but work out somehow! CRAZY, huh?
This is what happens when I don’t let God set the boundaries. Three steps forward, two steps back. Shuffling around, doing a dance with the wrong steps because I’m too busy trying to make my own music to hear that God wants the tune to change! Maybe it is time to pick up the tempo, or maybe it is time for a slow dance!
So I laid aside my responsibility to the newspaper. A few cake orders weren’t taken. Nothing really got turned down; it just didn’t work out for me to do it!
Am I hearing the right tune now? Not quite. Sometimes at night, I catch a faint sound of a melody in the distance. On days like today, I feel God whisper: “Just trust Me! I already have it ALL worked out!”
And He assures me once again, with that sweet peace only He can bring, that His song is much more beautiful than mine.
Time to start dancing!
I wonder if I will ever learn!!