Memories and Seasons

 

memories

This morning, like most days, Facebook presented me with “memories” I could look back on. As I was scrolling through them, I realized my life has taken some amazing turns. My Facebook doesn’t reach back that far, but I have moved 29 times in 26 years of marriage, but have lived 20 of those years in 2 houses!! (We both really do NOT like moving but maybe God likes to keep us from getting stagnant that way!) I have been a childcare business owner for most of those years, homeschooled my children for about 17 years and have helped several other families homeschool through the years. At one point, I was a college student, a childcare provider, a cake decorator, and I was trying to homeschool my children. THAT WAS an INSANE SEASON of my life. At another crazy time, I was a pastor’s wife, a youth pastor, a church van driver and was helping to plan two of my daughters’ weddings– all at the same time. That season ended about a year and a half ago and I am still recovering!! (My bank account may never recover!!)

This season, right now, is my favorite. Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved it when my children were small and I could hold them and life was busy with t-ball games and homeschool co-ops. I look back and wish I would’ve taken the time to just enjoy that season more.The crazy days of staying up late to finish a college assignment and then trying to be all smiles at 7 a.m. with 3 hours sleep–yep glad those days are past. I do miss college sometimes though. (I love to learn!)  I loved the long season of being a childcare provider. I sometimes miss the kiddos and the loud, fun, rambunctious days.Yeah, those are some good times and I have good memories. And some bad ones too.the_four_seasons___vivaldi_by_irvinggfm-d4tj3vc

Some seasons are difficult and messy. Some seasons I was too busy and I look back and know that I harmed my family by taking on too much. We came through it, but maybe a little worse for the wear. Every season has made me wiser, some have made me weaker, and some have strengthened me in many ways. Some of the worst and some of the best times in my life have changed me so dramatically that I look back at myself and can’t really even fathom who that person was. I don’t know her anymore. Others may not see all of them, but I know I have changed in ways that are important and lasting.

But as I said, this season is my favorite. No, I haven’t learned yet how to just BE ONE thing. Today I am a youth pastor again (third time), a media and nursery worker, a writer/editor, a caterer/cake decorator and I still like to care for children when people need me and when my other jobs allow. But the best part about this season is being a wife and a mom. Yes, I have been a wife and a mom for the last 26 years (mom for 25), but I have learned to make that the main part of my life, because that is the job that I know God gave me before all these other jobs. It’s not really a job! Being a wife and a mom is a calling.  What I do as a ministry and as an occupation is important, but I think and hope I have finally learned that all that is secondary to being a wife and a mom. Some seasons, I didn’t put that into practice very well. I tried to juggle too many things and my marriage suffered and my family lacked my attention.

This season is full of new things, like becoming Zsa Zsa (grandma) last year. And this year, getting to see my little grandson on a 3-D ultrasound!! I am excitedly awaiting his arrival into this world!! Any day now! I can’t wait to hold him and hug him and kiss his chubby cheeks (right after his mommy and daddy get their time with him). My hubby is helping me with the youth! That is a NEW thing. Last year, we team taught a marriage class!! That was a wonderful and amazing new thing, but also kinda stressful!! I became a published author recently. That was an exciting new thing. I tried sushi!! I liked it!!

This season is the best season. I choose to be present in it. It’s the best because it’s the only season I can change. I can decide to do differently. I can choose to step up to my calling as a wife and mom in ways I didn’t in seasons past. I can pay attention to what I am getting myself into and step back when I need to. I can make this season the best, even if events happen that aren’t what I would call “good”. I can learn from the past, look to the future but enjoy this season to the fullest. And that’s what I choose to do.

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