A New/Old Project

Soooo I am finally doing it!! I am writing a book! Actually, I am compiling a book that I have essentially been writing since 1987. This will be a compilation of my poetry, some essays and a short story or two.

For the next few weeks, I will be blogging excerpts from the book here. And maybe a few that didn’t make the cut!! I am excited about this new project. I am not looking to make thousands of dollars off of it (that wouldn’t be a bad thing, though) but more just to start on the self-publishing journey. Each of my children will have a contribution in it, and my oldest daughter has already said she would edit it. It is kinda a family thing!!
So I hope you enjoy the next few weeks of posting. I hope to post more often, as I have been a very undisciplined blogger!!


I have been thinking a lot about “passion” these last few days. So, as usual, I had to look up some definitions of the word. Sometimes you think you know exactly what the word means, but really, you are a little off of the actual definition.
  • strong and barely controllable emotion
  • a state or outburst of strong emotion
  • intense sexual love
  • an intense desire or enthusiasm for something
  • a thing arousing enthusiasm
Urban Dictionary gives this interesting description/definition of passion:
Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind body and soul into something as is possible.
I think that many times people restrict the word passion into the definition of “intense sexual love” but there is so much more to this word and this concept.

“Passion is ambition that is materialized into action”

I have searched for passion in my life for years. I believe it is essential to a successful life.  To me, passion is the thing that drives you to complete a task, even when it is difficult. The thing that you are passionate about makes you feel alive when you do it, and when you are finished, you can’t wait to do it again!

For years, I thought my passion was childcare.

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  And maybe, it was. Maybe passions can change. I did feel alive when I took care of kids and enjoyed it immensely. As with anything, there were parts of it, that I did not like but the love for the kids, over rode that dislike for many years. Until, it didn’t.
And during that time, I found another thing that I really enjoyed.
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Cake decorating became a great hobby, a tiny side business and eventually something that, although I enjoy doing it, never really developed into a full passion.
Just like cooking and making bread and sewing. All things I like doing, but not something I would want to spend every single day doing.
One thing has remained a steady passion for me throughout my life. Writing.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved words. Speaking words, reading words, but especially writing words.
As technology has advanced, I have greatly enjoyed typing words (although putting pen to paper is still a wonderful experience for me).
Lists, blogs, stories, essays, reports, letters, journal entries, notes to my hubby and children… it doesn’t really matter what form they are in, I love words.
Writing makes me feel alive and fulfilled and excited. It pushes me. When I let it. My mind thinks of things to write, often. But many times, I push it away and continue on with the mundane, necessary tasks of the day.
Someday soon, I hope that my passion for writing will become an income stream that will allow me to pursue my dream of being a full-time writer. Not ever having been one, I am not positive that it is something that I would always enjoy, but I think of writing everyday, many times a day and there are only two other things that I think of that often: God and my husband, Nathan.
This man has increased, encouraged and assisted in my passion for writing.
He has recently been working with me on a marriage curriculum and I have found the key to pursuing my passion-including my two other passions in that pursuit!! By including God and my husband, I have developed an even more fervent passion for writing. Although, I have wrote most of my life, I have never finished a book. I have only once submitted my work for publication to a magazine.
But this last week, I did it again. Put myself out there; I submitted an essay about an experience my husband and I had to a magazine. We’ll see. It’s not really about the results, but more about the process.
That’s another thing about passion. It is motivating, but whatever you are passionate about, you do because you almost HAVE to, not because of some exterior result.
 Today, served as another reminder that writing is my passion. I dropped EVERYTHING, because someone asked me to edit/write something and my mind just couldn’t really focus on anything else. And then once I started, it was extremely difficult to stop. And now, I am at it again. I just HAD to write this blog post. I could have stopped myself, but it would’ve hurt and made me grumpy. And I would’ve regretted it.
So here’s to passion. And living your life around your passion!

by  Docspy  January 17, 2006

My nest isn’t empty because my heart is full

So most people who know me at all, know that my two youngest children, my precious daughters, BOTH got married last year. Yes, I am still reeling from the thought that they are both married young women (my youngest, especially!) but this rather abrupt (less than a month between each wedding) exiting of my children from the household has left me in what many people like to call “The Empty Nest.”

I don’t like that phrase really because I am a glass-half-full kind of person (usually). Before, during and after the weddings, many people would ask “So are you ready for the empty nest?”
How do you properly answer that? Honestly, I was pretty ready by that second wedding. My parents had came to visit, we had a former foreign exchange student staying with us for the wedding, and my house was in chaos. I was ready for some emptying out. I wanted the wedding stuff gone and I wanted a little peace and quiet.

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So now, ten months later, I sit in a different house, that is VERY VERY quiet, and I think about this nest.
Before there were ever babies, there was me and my husband. Before that, we had our own lives but we married VERY young so they were short little lives before we made our life together. We had dreams, we had goals. And some of those did not include children. Some of those were just about us.
I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to edit books. We both loved to travel, go camping, sit by the water… And we did that some with the kids but it was expensive and difficult, at times, to get the kids all together, loaded up and of course, not grumpy about where we were going.
 After we got married, my husband’s grandmother taught me to cook and I wanted to be a good cook.  But in the busy life of raising kids, it was easier, quicker and less expensive to cook prepackaged food. I did write though, but mostly term papers, some short stories that no one had ever seen. Until lately.
This nest really isn’t empty. There IS freedom to try new foods, new adventures, new places, with only just each other to consider. The girls live close and come over to spend time with us. The new grand baby is a great joy. But this time, is special. Like raising kids is special, but not so frustrating. Like being newlyweds is special, but not so awkward. Not to say that this time isn’t sometimes frustrating and awkward but there are moments of great discovery and great comfort. Every time in life is special, I guess, but I am really liking the things that go along with this one.
In this time, there is time for us. Time to explore, time to understand each other. Time for him to read my writing, experience my new gourmet dishes, some good some bad! Here in this phase of life, there is freedom to push through and spend that extra hour talking. Stay up until 2 a.m. and know that the tiredness in the morning will be worth it because we learned something new about each other, drew a little closer.
Yeah this empty nest isn’t empty at all, because everyday, my heart becomes more full, more grounded, more complete.

Love and Life Analogies

There seem to be many analogies about love and life. And I think mostly, they are interchangeable. One of my favorite analogies is the one comparing a recipe to life or love. The ingredients by themselves aren’t all that tasty, some more yuck than others. Like yeast. Not so great by itself, but when put in with some sugar, flour, water and butter and the proper conditions to work together, the outcome is wonderful, yummy bread. Bread loaf

Life is also like a well-written book. There are sentences that are absolutely wonderful and they can stand alone. And then there are sentences and words that by themselves are just not great but when put together, they make a great story that can inspire and change lives. 

read-booksBut probably my favorite is the analogy of life and art, preferably a tapestry. Moments, good and bad, light and dark, woven together into a beautiful piece of art. When you look at each thread, some might seem mundane and dull by themselves, although they are golden beautiful threads that are just stunning in their luminosity and light on their own. When properly woven together, they create an amazing life that has depth and feeling and brings beauty to all who see it.

napthal%20circular%20print%20tapestry%20in%20blues%20and%20various%20colorsRelationships are life and life is relationships. We are made to have relationships!! Made in the image of God, we are designed to be in fellowship with others. God created us that we might have a relationship with Him. And relationships are messy! And sometimes UGLY!! We get aggravated at ourselves and others, do hurtful things, say hurtful words and it gets ugly. 

But I choose to look at the beautiful moments more and to realize that the ugly and the beautiful can all work together for AWESOMENESS when we let God do the weaving. Each moment, each thread, even the absolutely dark and ugly ones, work together in the tapestry to make a stunning picture of God’s grace, mercy and artistry!!